March 28, 2010
Do You Know What I Mean?
I don’t know if people were saying “Do you know what I mean?” much before Lee Michaels made the song by the same name so famous back in the seventies, but I’m sure noticing the outbreak of that phrase in conversational exchanges these days.
The song, “Do you know what I mean?” talks about a guy who’s trying to get over his girlfriend, who is now stepping out with his best friend Bobby. The wronged gentleman is trying to understand the situation, even as he asks for understanding, rather plaintively inquiring, “Do you know what I mean?” in an effort to establish a connection over a shared experience.
That connection business is the intent of the phrase’s usage today, sort of a verbal, “I’m okay, you’re okay.” It has me thinking about the “chicken or the egg” that is pop culture. Do we start saying these phrases first, and then they weave themselves into our language lexicon, or might it be the other way around?
The expression, “Do you know what I mean?” is the equivalent of signal drop-out because it’s rhetorical, holding space, but no meaning. It’s like, “so,” “huh,” “how about that?” or any number of transitional phrases that are none too specific. The conversational gambit that is, “Do you know what I mean?” punctuates more and more folks’ discussions, sometimes seeming to be a rhetorical question packed with intent.
When, “Do you know what I mean?” comes my way I bob and weave like a seasoned verbiage fighter, trying to dodge its ability to put me on the spot. The question makes me feel as though I need to nod my head in understanding, complicit in knowing what “it” means. The truth is I often have no idea what I ever mean, let alone the person who is asking me, “Do you know what I mean?”
I have a friend whose “Do you know what I mean” is as much a part of her cute persona as her blonde hair and perky personality. Fortunately her “Do you know what I mean?” is purely rhetorical, lacking intent or need for confirmation, so she doesn’t wait for me to nod acquiescence that I’m getting it. I appreciate that about her and so much more.
Along about a few months ago I found myself getting on my own nerves, I was using, “Do you know what I mean” so much. Let’s face it. When you’re having a conversation with someone and you hear yourself say, up to and including, three times, “Do you know what I mean?” they don’t, so it’s time to hand off the conversational baton to someone else. I noted in a few situations I was aggressively pursuing empathy and any time you attempt to marry aggressiveness with empathy you know you’ve tra-la-la-ed off the right path.
The most interesting bit of information I discovered when I looked up the lyrics for the song, “Do you know what I mean?” was that I’ve been massacring the words for years and if I would have been bravely belting this tune out in front of live audiences for a living, then that might be a problem. As it is, it’s one of the few times I’ve embarrassed myself and no one has noticed. Do you know what I mean?
Do You Know What I Mean?
I don’t know if people were saying “Do you know what I mean?” much before Lee Michaels made the song by the same name so famous back in the seventies, but I’m sure noticing the outbreak of that phrase in conversational exchanges these days.
The song, “Do you know what I mean?” talks about a guy who’s trying to get over his girlfriend, who is now stepping out with his best friend Bobby. The wronged gentleman is trying to understand the situation, even as he asks for understanding, rather plaintively inquiring, “Do you know what I mean?” in an effort to establish a connection over a shared experience.
That connection business is the intent of the phrase’s usage today, sort of a verbal, “I’m okay, you’re okay.” It has me thinking about the “chicken or the egg” that is pop culture. Do we start saying these phrases first, and then they weave themselves into our language lexicon, or might it be the other way around?
The expression, “Do you know what I mean?” is the equivalent of signal drop-out because it’s rhetorical, holding space, but no meaning. It’s like, “so,” “huh,” “how about that?” or any number of transitional phrases that are none too specific. The conversational gambit that is, “Do you know what I mean?” punctuates more and more folks’ discussions, sometimes seeming to be a rhetorical question packed with intent.
When, “Do you know what I mean?” comes my way I bob and weave like a seasoned verbiage fighter, trying to dodge its ability to put me on the spot. The question makes me feel as though I need to nod my head in understanding, complicit in knowing what “it” means. The truth is I often have no idea what I ever mean, let alone the person who is asking me, “Do you know what I mean?”
I have a friend whose “Do you know what I mean” is as much a part of her cute persona as her blonde hair and perky personality. Fortunately her “Do you know what I mean?” is purely rhetorical, lacking intent or need for confirmation, so she doesn’t wait for me to nod acquiescence that I’m getting it. I appreciate that about her and so much more.
Along about a few months ago I found myself getting on my own nerves, I was using, “Do you know what I mean” so much. Let’s face it. When you’re having a conversation with someone and you hear yourself say, up to and including, three times, “Do you know what I mean?” they don’t, so it’s time to hand off the conversational baton to someone else. I noted in a few situations I was aggressively pursuing empathy and any time you attempt to marry aggressiveness with empathy you know you’ve tra-la-la-ed off the right path.
The most interesting bit of information I discovered when I looked up the lyrics for the song, “Do you know what I mean?” was that I’ve been massacring the words for years and if I would have been bravely belting this tune out in front of live audiences for a living, then that might be a problem. As it is, it’s one of the few times I’ve embarrassed myself and no one has noticed. Do you know what I mean?
Lyrics to the Song...for fun...
Do You Know What I Mean?
By Lee Michaels
By Lee Michaels
Been forty days
since I don't know when
I just saw her
with my best friend
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know, know what I mean?
I just saw her yesterday
I just saw her,
asked her to stay
Do you know what I mean?
Lord, Do you know what I mean?
Her and Bobby
were steppin out
Her and Bobby
didn't know I found out
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know, know what I mean?
So I asked her if she still cared
She didn't hear me,
she just stared
Do you know what I mean?
Lord, Do you know what I mean?
And then she said
Lee you haven't loved me
in nearly four years
You haven't noticed
that I held back my tears
And now you have,
but it's really too late
Better find yourself another girl
Better find another girl
Better find uh,
another place
She just left me yesterday
She just left me,
had nothing to say
Do you know what I mean?
Oh, do you know what I mean?
She's a dandy,
yes indeed
She's a dandy,
but now she's free
Do you know what I mean?
Lord, do you know what I mean?
Been forty days
since I don't know
when I just saw her
with my best friend
Do you know what I mean?
Lord, do you know what I mean?
I just saw her yesterday
I just saw her,
learn how to stay
Do you know what I mean?
Lord, Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, here comes it now..
Hoooo,
help.. me
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