NOT NOT List...It's NOT That It's NOT a Good Comment to Make About Someone's Hair When You Say...humorous list...

March 1, 2010

It’s time for another “NOT NOT” list this week. So far I’ve covered rife-with-potential, thought-provoking subjects such as signs of advancing age and advancing signs of a relationship break-up.

The “NOT NOT” topics have (and will continue to) run the gamut as my mind runs the gauntlet, both being fun pastimes, though often rather out of control, like my hair. Speaking of which, hair is a funny thing, particularly when you have about a dozen hair whorls (cowlicks), like I do, because it provides one with the illusion of control over those follicles when, in point of fact, that’s not even close to the truth.

Yes, hair is like life in that way and I’m sure you’re starting to notice that everything I write is about one degree away from a life lesson. That’s because I’m an emotionally economical person who doesn’t want any of this stuff to go to waste, so I like attaching meaning to, well, most everything.

Because I have often been the recipient of “helpful” comments concerning my hair and its color, status, length, and style I thought a great “NOT NOT” list would be on the topic of hair, or lack thereof. It’s all in the tone of the commenter, isn’t it?

So, on with the show, my fine friends and go ahead, just try not to comment to yourself, right after you read each one. For instance, number one would immediately make you respond, “And?!”

It’s NOT That It’s NOT a Good Comment to Make About Someone Else’s Hair When You Say:

1. Oh, you cut your hair. [followed by a silence during which time you could hear a hair drop]

2. Oh, did you cut your hair? [emphasis on the “you”]
3. Did it turn out the way you wanted it to?
4. Wow! Most people wouldn’t be able to wear that style.
5. Do they still call that a mullet?
6. It’ll grow out.
7. You have such a pretty/handsome face anything would look good on you.
8. What is your natural color?
9. How did your hair look when you were young?
10. Do they still call that a shag?
11. Did you shave your head on purpose?
12. Do they still call that a Dorothy Hamill?
13. Did you used to have hair?
14. That bleaching really fries your hair, huh?
15. Boy, bangs are tricky, aren’t they?
16. I never noticed that your ears come to a point at the top.
17. Did you read the directions before you did it?
18. Someday you are going to laugh at this.
19. Today, I’m going to laugh at this.
20. Hey, do you mind if I get a quick picture for my Facebook page?
21. Tomorrow, my friends on Facebook are going to laugh at this.
22. Are you auditioning for a “before” picture?
23. I guess the lesson is that you really do get what you pay for.
24. You are so patient to wait for the look you want.
25. I didn’t even know we had a cosmetology training program here in town.
26. What bet did you lose?
27. Your skull is really smooth.
28. I had no idea your hair was naturally so straight.
29. It’s a shame when the hairdresser doesn’t give you the style that you showed her in a picture. Are you planning on suing?
30. When’s your next appointment?
31. I can see myself on your head!
32. Oh, wow, I didn’t even know that two-tone hair was back in!
33. You are such a trend-setter.
34. It must be nice to be so confident that you’re not a slave to hairstyle fashions.
35. Would you call those wings, on the side there?
36. Do they still call that a pixie?
37. No time for a shower this morning?
38. Wow! Your hair really covered those ears!
39. Don’t you hate those awkward stages when you’re growing your hair out?
40. Did you have a final look in mind?
41. Is that a bald spot?
42. You know, there’s nothing wrong with getting a few extensions that'll add body to your hair. What? Those are extensions?
43. I like men who don’t rely on their hair to get women. Where are you going?
44. What do I think? Oh, no, no, it’s more important what you think.
45. I would call it fringe, I guess, if I were forced to describe it.