Thursday, February 4, 2010

Beauty is in the Eyeteeth...or how to discover the multiple uses for earrings

February 4, 2010

Beauty is in Your Eyeteeth

I’ve got a hot beauty tip for you, but I guess I’m feeling a little like today’s blog entry is a bit exclusionary because it involves one of the many uses an earring possesses. Now, even as I write this, I do realize that men wear earrings and, in fact, as someone who enjoyed the club scene of the eighties when the men were prettier than the women, I know that even moisturizing is not a topic only for the (supposedly) fairer sex.

Beauty has often been heralded as being skin deep, but I happen to feel that while we may lock eyes with folks first, it is shortly followed by a quick look-see at the old chompers and you don’t want to present yourself poorly. We also live by the aphorism that, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and while Margaret Wolfe Hungerford is credited with that exact phrase, Plato can claim the original gist of that one when he said, “Remember how in that communion only, beholding beauty with the eye of the mind, he will be enabled to bring forth, not images of beauty, but realities…” Our reality is that we must never let down our guard in our constant battle to preserve our dignity and, more importantly, our beheld beauty.

You know how you’ve just enjoyed a savory meal at your favorite restaurant and you excuse yourself to go to the powder room in order to…take a powder? As you finish your ritualistic ministrations you smile up at yourself in the mirror in that scary, canine, “I might have rabies” look, quickly, as you wash your hands? How many times have you done this and noticed that you have something in your teeth, heck, you have everything in your teeth that previously resided on your plate and no floss anywhere in sight? As you frantically look around for anything that will dislodge those nasty remnants; threads hanging from your clothing, twine that holds the paper towel dispenser together, you catch a glint of something in the mirror. Hum. An earring. Earrings are made of surgical steel, are mostly clean, and most definitely possess sturdy posts. Pop that earring out, take care of those pearly whites, eradicating all evidence of a good meal, rinse the earring off, snap it back in and no one will be the wiser.

Now there’s a hot beauty tip you’ll never see trumpeted from a mainstream magazine that makes its home on the checkstand rack. And you know another benefit I thought of? No one will want to borrow your earrings. Score another benefit!

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