Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Mother of a Future...parenting humor...

March 25, 2010

A Mother of a Future

Thoughts You Don’t Think When You Have a Baby, But Which May Be Worth Keeping in Mind

As I traverse the bumpy landscape that is parenting young adults I find that there are thoughts I never entertained when I had my babies, but which may have been thought-provoking, if not helpful. These reflections occurred this morning as I gazed upon the beauteous visage of my youngest child, realizing that she is almost all growed up. Where did the time go? I blinked and she blossomed.

I wasn’t chock full of amusing thoughts when I lovingly doted upon my sweet, innocent, milky-smelling wonders of perfection…my children. Rather I was serene and madonna-like in demeanor, reveling in the wondrous journey that is the maternal experience. This lasted until the first time my eldest child threw a mother of a tantrum in Target, flip flops flying, setting some sort of world distance record for airborne rubber objects, in the process.

Blessedly, my thought processes were quite simple when my kids were small, dependent bundles for which I was responsible. If I go back in time I can remember thinking things like: Is she breathing? Will this much crying damage her health? Why does her crying make me cry? Can moms be fired? Why do none of these baby books address the reality of this momhood thing? You know, normal stuff.

Nowadays, my humorous mind kicks in, no doubt as a coping mechanism to allay imminent sadness, as I ponder the passage of time that is my parenting personal history. These would have been unusual deliberations to have when my little guys spent 80% of their time being held by their mom or dad. Now, they are poignant and even sometimes funny.

1. This baby will be driving me around in a car some day, often in the fast lane.
2. This is my roommate for the next 18 years…or more. (Fingers crossed!)
3. I will comb this child’s hair every day until she makes me pull mine out.
4. I will witness a boy kissing this sweet thing and manage not to commit any crime related to assault.
5. Some day I will wave good-bye to this precious innocent, watching her drive away in a car we bought for her, as she establishes her own household, perhaps never to return as my roommate.
6. This child will initiate at least 700 conversations with me about body parts she wants tattooed, pierced or otherwise altered.
7. This is the future mother of my grandchildren.
8. This fascinating creature will “borrow” everything I own, claiming to have “found” each item in her room, so what’s the big deal?
9. I will be yelled at by this amazing specimen, told I’ve made plenty of parenting mistakes and barred from her room, but my love will never waiver and I will always, always be there, assuring her that, “Nothing will make me leave you.”
10. This is a person who has the power to make the rain fall in my life or forecast the promise of a beautiful dawning day, just by virtue of the state of her happiness.

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."


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